The 50th battle of Dragon Rap Battles Features L. Ron Hubbard and HP Lovecraft along with their creations being Xenu and Cthulhu to see who is the better Sci Fi Cult Leader.
L. Ron Hubbard:
Just came back with the results, Tone Scale says you're a Total Failure
Your Past Life Memories in constant pain, but luckily you’re with a savior
I’m bigger than The Beatles and more of a Rap God than Slim Shady
And I’ll be serving you harder than my Commodore Messaging Ladies
I’d pull an Operation Snow White to check your Cthulhu Mythos roster
Your creatures aren’t frightening I’ve seen scarier things in Creepypastas
Street Cred from Travolta to Tom Cruise, The L. Ron Hubbard Way is on a roll
So forget Arkham, Watch me send this Scarecrow straight into The Hole
Take in the atmosphere, a cold sweat - chilling fear?
This jury-rigged brigadier has realized he’s no god here
I recall a forgotten age of which I shall Re-Animate
A self-helper’s help played into a dark farce on a page?
One couldn’t call this situation even on your medication
Without preying on the degradation of a fallen, broken nation
But the Dark One comes… his Call… it has rung…
Off the bets, I’ve won… now run, run like your son…
L. Ron Hubbard:
ARRRGH! If I Were You, I’d be ashamed of my previous genetics
This HP prints off 5 buck issues while I get 20 million on Dianetics
For i’m building up a Metropolis as I build attention from Anonymous
As I conquer your Necropolis because no way that you’ll be topping this!
I fought an Octopus in the Science of Survival so quite honestly
I’ll take this fight like Nightgaunts did to your dream of Astronomy
Better drop dead from my Excalibur when you’re facing off my wrath
Cause how can readers be satisfied when you don’t even Love your Crafts
This junior Joseph Smith seeks an advance to the abyss?
Forthwith, a sick diss from the twist whisperer in the darkness
And your mecraftian creature is hardly a thrill leader
I instilled gripping fear in readers that couldn’t be read on E-Meters
If Battlefield’s reviews weren’t savage, how about your David Miscarriage
After your Mary Sue marriage she went butt monkey from the damage
I’ve seen Psychos from Bloch-heads diluted less than Dianetics was.
Looks like Lafayette was Fair Game for the Shadow over Innsmouth.
L. Ron Hubbard:
Grrrr they’ll be no Necronomicon to bring you back when this fight is done
Tables are turned when Your Mama is bringing the disses on her own son
So while I’m cruising up to helpout Haiti with my whole crew in the Apollo
I heard you’re Xenu-Phobic, well prepare to meet a galactic OG so hollow!
It’s time HP gets schooled for once, call me Miskatonic University
For The Galactic Force had ruled the galaxy, and we’re not talking Palpatine
For i’m dropping H-Bombs in Volcanoes while i’m fly as a Douglas DC-8
The True Horror at Red Hook here was giving your fans some race hate
I’m the oldest and strongest kind of fear to which is that of the unknown
Scare off The Terrible Old Man straight unto he reaches his tombstone
You’re in the Deep Sea Org now Howard as I’ll give you a lecture
Then I’ll force you to watch our 3D super colossal motion picture
This may be Lurking Fear to ya, but you really shouldn’t be hating
Instead you should think more Clear when i’m Operating Thetan
Call me Robert E. Lee, because when you try to step up to me
I’ll take out your Wierd N'wild Creatures, so bow to this Galactic Confederacy
This micro magnate Magnus is at the Mountains of Madness
Beastly being so hapless, I've chilled more from Cats, yes
Don't you feel it in the air? Here comes Yog-Sothoth's heir!
We're beyond standards of care! Mglw'nafh
(Cthulhu rises as the past DRB characters watch even L Ron sees it from his Apollo)
Cthulhu (0:31 - ):
MWAHAHAHAHAHA Foolish Mortals I HAVE ARRIVED!
The Greater Evil in the US and tentacles to get Japan Hyped
You conquered some planets but what’s that does mean to me though
Because for all I see is a mixed hybrid between a Sleestak and Greedo
Call me a Weird Tale all you like but that would’ve had you simply mistaken
For HP and I rock the mic so hard, that we inspire Metallica and Iron Maiden
For when The Call of Cthulhu is heard, the world would than become brutal
Hell, I’m so feared by puny humans that NASA gave me a spot on Pluto
I Spit Fire like Cthugha as I’m Kraken out a bigger bang than Azathoth
To which i’d rather face off Godzilla, Zalgo, or even a Mi-Go from Yuggoth
You’re in a Deep One L. Ron, I’ll get Dagon on your ships to end your fun
Let The Elder Ones know that like DRB’s Season 4, this puny planet’s done!
(Cthulhu causes chaos and destroys the city)
- The First beat used in this battle is called "The Return" Epic Inspiring Cinematic Piano Choir Beat and can be found here
- The Xenu beat used in this battle is called ILLUMINATI RAP BEAT 2013 and can be found here
- The Cthulu beat used in this battle is called Dark Aggressive Epic Choir Rap Beat Hip Hop Instrumental 2015 - FIFTY VINC and can be found here
- HP Lovecraft is voiced by Iamthelegion
- Cthulhu Cultist is voiced by Zack Maloney
- Cthulhu is voiced by Stofferex